Why we Smoke

The one thing every anti-smoking activists wonders is why do people smoke? It’s obviously harmful to your health, yet there are smokers among us. As a connoisseur of tobacco products for many years I’ve been asked this thought-provoking question.

The obvious reason is that, we enjoy it. Sure nicotine can be addictive but the first time anyone smoked it did not get them hooked. It was because they actually enjoyed the smoking experience. Sometimes having a cigarette during your break or a cigar with a few friends feels good.

Another theory could be a reaction to the anti-smoking campaigns that have been forced down our intellectual throat all our lives. Remember all those douche-bag groups that would come to your school and put on a performance that was more torturous than water-boarding?

Don’t forget about all those moronic anti-smoking ads that love talking about how the Tobacco Industry goes after your children (a demographic that can’t buy tobacco products). Chances are some people smoke as a reaction to having endured such torture.

Finally there is the main reason that most activists have for years tried to counter; people smoke because it makes them look cool. I hate to say this but it’s true as every historically cool person (real or fiction) has been a smoker.

Notice how cool Sir Winston S. Churchill looked with that cigar and Tommy-gun or how amazing James Bond looks when he is smoking? It’s impossible to pose and look cool with a lollypop in your mouth.

Here is an example of all the historically cool people who smoked:

* Sir. Winston S. Churchill
* Client Eastwood
* John McClane
* Douglas MacArthur
* Che Guevara
* Solid Snake
* Humphrey Bogart
* Hunter S. Thompson
* John F. Kennedy
* James Bond
* Frank Sinatra
* Maddox

Let us also not forget the brave men who fought and bleed during WWII. These Lucky Strike smoking GI Joes (the Greatest Generation) liberated the world by slaughtering the fascist threat while smoking.

Now look at all the historical losers who did not smoke:

* Dan White (the jerk who assassinated Harvey Milk)
* Winger
* Osama Bin Ladin
* Kirk Cameron
* Adolph Hitler
* Raiden (the sissy in Metal Gear Solid 2)
* Your jerk-off teacher
* Draft Dodgers
* John Kerry (sissy Senator)
* Jack Thompson (loser anti-game activist)

This should be the simplest of explanation as to why people still smoke. Sure the anti-smokers will like you to believe that the following is all false and that the tobacco industry wages a propaganda war, but try and remember who is more annoying.