The reason some people take things to heart while others don’t revolves around perception (interpretation) of the situation and emotional maturity or control. In some ways, it’s about experience and training. Yet, there are also people who are hardwired to be deeply emotional or sensitive who haven’t fully mastered control over their disposition.
A deeply passionate (emotional) and sensitive child can grow up (and learn in the process) to moderate how seriously they take what they hear and experience or how much offense that is taken. I am living proof that it’s possible. But, not every situation or person is the same.
Repeated experience of being offended or hurt can lead to a kind of emotional callus. Sometimes, the repeated offenses get to be so much to handle that a breaking point is reached where a person might simply decides that he or she just doesn’t have the time or energy to be bothered by what others think on that specific topic. Not all breaking points end so positively, though.
Adults who don’t grow out of that kind of sensitivity either haven’t had enough experience with it or they may have some type of cognitive disability. One type of disability could be like those people who have high functioning autism, for example. In some cases, it may be a choice (active, direct or otherwise).
There are also people with undiagnosed and untreated personality or mood disorders along with those who may be ‘gifted’.disorder. It’s not always obvious when a highly functional and/or intelligent person has mental impairment. They may seem eccentric or difficult but still fit into what most people consider normal.
Personality disorders and people who take offense easily are sometimes the result of choices made along the way. We are each presented with opportunities and experiences in life. Our responses to those events and situations tend to be a result of our perceptions and preferences. Most of us rarely see the broader picture of act and consequence or how our choices in one thing will affect our responses in an unrelated situation.
Self-awareness and intent have a lot to do with how we respond to other people. When we notice that other people know how to get us riled up or upset because of how we respond to them, we have a choice. We have a choice of facing up to them and our responses or of avoiding them.
Avoiding those situations and people is a way of holding onto and validating the way we respond to them. This can present a mental or emotional conflict. This type of conflict is a form of stress. Chronic stress is hard on the human body. and stress.
So, why some people take things so seriously (to heart) or personally has a lot to do with how they perceive and cope with the world around them. Physical or developmental conditions can often play a big role in this behavioral choice. In mentally unimpaired people, it can be overcome.