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Spouse with Chronic Pain

It can be extremely difficult to be married to a spouse who suffers with chronic pain. As hard as you try, it is impossible for you to understand how she really feels. There are many changes you will witness in your spouse and many will leave you feeling angry, frustrated and confused. It can be hard to be understanding yourself at times. If your spouse was healthy when you met and developed the pain or was injured during your marriage it can, at times, be hard to keep your marriage strong. There are many symptoms that happen to a person suffering from chronic pain. Educating yourself can help you understand better what is happening with your spouse and why.


Your once happy and outgoing wife now seems to be lying around on the couch and complaining all the time now. She never seems to be happy. This could be a sign that your wife is suffering from depression. Make sure you get her help because, without it, there is always a risk of suicide in severe cases. It is nearly impossible to not become depressed when everything you used to be able to do seems out of reach and even the simplest tasks seem unreachable. Seeing a psychiatrist regularly can also help her deal with the losses she has experienced from the pain. If you are willing to attend as well, you might learn what she is going through. You might find it makes you feel better to discuss how you are being effected too. It will make your marriage stronger if you both understand what the other is feeling and talk about it.

Weight Gain:

Try to be supportive of your wife and don’t point out the fact if she tends to be gaining weight. It is not uncommon for this to happen to a person who suffers with chronic pain. Remember, she is tired and lacks the energy she used to once have. It is difficult to exercise when you are already injured and afraid of worsening the injury by exercising incorrectly. This is a real concern to someone with chronic pain.

Loss of Sexual Interest:

You might find that your once very sexy wife no longer seems to find you interesting in bed. It could be that she is embarrassed of her new, heavier figure or even a side effect of some of the medications she is on. Some of them actual decrease sexual interest. Talk to her about it and compliment her often. She is still the beautiful woman you married, even if there is more of her.

Lack of Energy:

The laundry is always piled up and dinner is rarely ready when you get home. Your wife used to keep your house spotless but now she can’t even seem to pick the vacuum cleaner once a week. How can she just lie around all day and do nothing? You might be wondering but try to understand that she is doing something, fighting pain. Pain can suck all of the energy out of you and leave you feeling useless. Having a spouse who is understanding can help in a big way. Try to support her and help her out with all of the things she can no longer manage. Explain to her that you are helping her and not doing it out of spite, which is how she might take the offer.

These are just some of the things you might experience when living with a spouse who suffers from chronic pain. A strong marriage can endure a lot but getting help is always a wise way to go. It might just save your marriage.