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Planning a Family

Ideally one should start family planning before the delivery of your first baby. A well planned family is important for a happy marriage. Many couples are counseled to talk about the addition of children before they are even married. Of course, the best laid plans of mice and men or women

When talking about family planning with your partner you should discuss all of your options. There are many options that you and your partner may not be comfortable with do to religious or personal convictions. This should be resolved before you get married. Options that are unacceptable to one partner should be thought of as taboo to the other partner.

One stumbling block that I often see is that it is forgotten the mother will be called upon to raise the child and the father is only the partner in this endeavor. You might think this is old fashion, but this is the way we are made; it is the way we are wired; it is a basic instinct. The mother will become the primary caregiver unless an extreme circumstance arises; such as death of the mother. Working with the designated mother, the mother could be a man, we find that the mother will be compelled to be there for the children for at least the first five years after the birth of the last child.

This takes a big gap out of the career of the mother. Even in single parent families the mother is forced to take whatever job they can get just to bring money into the home. In a two parent family the mother will probably stay home at least until the children are of school age. Mothers often find themselves starting their career after fifteen or twenty years of marriage.

This can lead the mother to an unfulfilling career. One way to get around this problem is to have the mother work at home studying for the more advance better paying jobs while at home. Help is available through at home computer classes will that will train the mother for a career, but it will take time and the father must be willing to help give the mother that time. Start out by taking one class at a time to see how this will work out.

Another way around this problem is to have all the children you want as close together as possible; thus limiting the amount of time the mother will be forced to stay at home. Having two children in this manner is not too difficult; having three or four children in this way will tax both the children and mother to a frazzle. In addition it can put an extreme economic hardship on the family and even lead to divorce. This is not recommended; if you want more than two children space them out; it will better for everyone.

One easy way to space the children out is to do it the old fashioned way. Breast feed the child. Nursing mothers are not as likely to get pregnant as mothers who don’t nurse and breastfeeding babies up to 2 or 3 years of ages spaces the children out. In this way you’ll only have one child in diapers at a time. It should be noted that doctors don’t think of breastfeeding as a effective means of birth control and recommend inserting spermicidal pellets, diaphragms, or using a condom while breastfeeding. Breastfeeding can be effective as long as the mother hasn’t restarted her period.

The pill is not recommended for mothers who are breastfeeding. As we all know the pill is very effective. The pill is not for all women and there are health and religious reasons for not taking the pill. If you choose the pill, take your spouse to your doctor and talk about using the pill. Using the pill is an effective way of spacing the children out.

After you have your last planned child you should consider sterilization. After giving birth the organs in a woman’s are easier to get to for a surgeon making it easy to tie the mother’s tubes. If you are planning this procedure then this is the time to do it. If it is the man who chooses to get sterilized the he can do it during the pregnancy that way all of the sperm will be out of his system before the mother become fertile again. One word of warning; once the either the man or the woman are sterilized then the operation should be considered irreversible. Even though there are procedures to reconstruct a man or a woman’s fertility, there is no guarantee that it can be done and it is expensive.

If the man is the one who gets sterilized, the woman should be very careful. An affair could lead to a pregnancy. This is unpleasant to think about, but the pressures in today’s society can lead to a slip and fall. This is especially true when the mother starts working again after having children. We should all consider that we are not prefect and we sin. The consequences of an affair should be considered and addressed by all married couples. Both forgiveness and divorce should be discussed.

Lastly, there is the problem of the unplanned pregnancy. If a couple finds themselves pregnant and they haven’t planned on it happening then it should be decided before it happens; will the couple seek an abortion? This should be talked about before the couple even gets married and discussed later if and when it happens.

Family planning is very important to a marriage in modern times because of many factors. The more children the more economic stress will be put on the family. Population control may also be a consideration. The mother’s career should be considered so that she’ll be ready for the time when the nest is empty and have security in her old age.

Whether you and your partner choose to have 1 or 10 children you should make it your goal to turn out quality children who will become responsible adults and contribute to society. Children are not pets; they are a part of you; make sure your children are raised with solid values that make them assets to society. This will require a good deal of time to be spent with each child. Each child that becomes a responsible adult will be a benefit to society; we can always use another responsible adult. Each child that enters adulthood unprepared will be a burden on society. Strive to turn out quality children. Good family planning is the way to start your children out on the right road.