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Monster of Addiction

There is a point in an addicts life, it maybe in adolescence when those first beers are drank. Maybe it’s in their teenage years when their friends start to drink socially. Sometimes it can even be kept caged until adulthood. The monster can be patient.

Most people can drink and some even due drugs and be ignored by this beast. But the addict it knows. Once you take that leap into addiction, the cravings, the guilt, and the denial you begin to feed this monster.

The monster starts to grow; it gets stronger with your overindulgence and laughs at the pain it brings. As this thing is growing it is becoming part of you. Now that the disease and monster are one, you no longer have control. You are powerless, this monster now controls you.

You are still you though; you may look a little different, a little weight loss, maybe looking a little rough. It’s still deniable, the monster is still hidden. Hiding your disease is only hurt you for now, and it seems so natural. You use drugs and alcohol to hide your pain; it is the only time you feel like anything in life is right. So you start using more, and even adding more drugs.

Now you are becoming unable to hide the monster. You have long since stopped doing things that you used to enjoy. Now you begin to hurt the people you love. There is no happiness anymore. You hate yourself for using and the things you do when you’re using. You swear to stop every night and pick up every morning.

The monster hates talk off quitting; it wants to be there to the end. But you are losing everything, with every binge brings more disaster. Self hatred is getting thick; you need to find a way out of the insanity. Your conscience knows this is not the way your life should be.

You do find the strength, addicts do it every day. You ask for help from your family, the ones you had been pushing away. Checking into a rehab is scary, you’re still high, and the monster wants you to leave.

You push those thought away and stay. It takes 30 days to learn ways to keep your monster caged. Your head is clear, and you’re healthy again. You now have tools to cope with life on life’ terms. That’s something you had never learned.

You are ready for this new life, you feel almost reborn. Recovery is awesome; you try things you’ve never done. You make contact with family you thought you lost. Most importantly you start working a program through AA or NA. Through that you connect and meet a whole network of people that understand the monster you have caged inside you.

As your recovery gets longer and you find even more happiness. Happiness you never though you deserved. Never forget, that monster is only sleeping in a cage. You are still powerless. It takes only one drink or use to wake him and open that cage, and the longer it’s been sleeping the hungrier it is.