So here you are; alone, feeling dejected with no one to turn to, no button to press, life is so hard and worthless – you have reached the end of your road! You have tried ‘Plan A’ and ‘Plan B’. You have abandoned both of them. Someone told you of ‘Plan C’. It also didn’t work.
As you take your solo walk westwards down that deserted, quiet road directly facing the slowly, disappearing setting sun, whistling as you walk, and reach what you thought might be the end of the road, you realize that there is another turn.
But you do not wish to go on. And you do not want to go back either; there is no hope back there. In fact a creditor may be waiting at your door step. So you thought of putting it to your head; the gun, and there was no bullet in it either. But you were your mother’s kid, and listened when she said, “no to drugs” and of course this is why you do not wish to pursue the bullets this evening.
In this situation of severe stress, drugs can easily tip you over the edge – committing suicide, murdering the creditor, ex-wife or boss, engaging in robbery, turning to violence,and etcetera, so you are right to:
1. Stay clean from them (drugs). And that is a good ‘Step One’. But you do not get much credit for this; your mother already did this for you, now it’s the time to prove that you can make it on your own. You have also done another thing that psychologists recommend: ‘whistling as you walk’it releases stress. Effective strategies for dealing with stress have to be universal because stressors come in infinite ways. Here are some proven ones:
You may not have all the resources but one resource we all have is intelligence. Right from the beginning engage in a process psychologists call intellectualization. This is the only way you will face facts and call a spade a spade. Without being clouded with emotion make some calculations, subtractions, additions, multiplications and divisions; you may just figure out the jig-saw done deal.
While repressing your feelings of guilt, self blame and shame with plausible new explanations about your new and current views about life-like no longer planning to become a millionaire through a day job but turning to business-plan for a new career.
Rationalization of your current views about life will mean that whatever life changes have a justifiable and plausible explanation. Take for example your current idea of marriage. You probably are of the opinion that for a complete life one has to be married. Have a take at this new plausible and justifiable view:
Somehow a bachelor never quite gets over the idea that he is a thing of beauty and a boy forever-Alexander Pope (1688-1962)
5. Plan Short-Term and Long-Term Goals:
Make your plans along the lines of career/personal finance, family, physical well-being, public service, education, art, and pleasure: In planning these goals, make them SMART (Specific Measurable Achievable Realistic and Time bound). Write a date and age by which you wish to achieve your goals. Your short-term goals may act as your contributory goals to the long-term goals.
Once you have your goals, you will be unstoppable if you then apply the strategy of regression. In this process, you take your life back as if you are just borna baby and starting your life all over again. That way, you will not be bothered to start from scratch in every thing you do, like looking for a new job, walking (rather than driving)to work, and etcetera.
Planning your life under crisis may seem unrealistic but is the only way out of it. So get up, avoid self pity, defeat stress and strategize your life now, for a better future for you and your dependants.
All these strategies can be further studied in many psychology books.