We have a highly sexualized culture sending seductive images and messages on a constant basis. Relationships can have huge problems like addictions, abuse or infidelity. However it is generally the minor problems that can lead to those behaviors that destroy a relationship.
There was a sitcom episode on television where the couple is having a cold war over who is going to put an object away. They both know the object is there and the longer it sits there the more they both fume. They neglect to communicate with each other about the item and instead start a battle.
The punchline to this particular sitcom is the Mother in law was waging a similar war with her husband over items that had been hanging on the wall for their entire marriage. When she decided to confront her problem she found it had been entirely her problem and her husband didn’t have a clue that she had been creating this fight in her head. Again a lack of communication causing the rage.
Sometimes this smaller issues really have a deeper meaning to them. It could be that you see your partner as selfish or not contributing to the relationship. Either way at least one of you are feeling unbalance in the relationship and feel you deserve to be treated fairly.
If you have a partner that you feel is a slob and doesn’t do as much cleaning as they should then it’s not likely you’ll get them to change their habits. They might feel criticized and criticism can be hurtful if it’s not presented in the right manner. Anytime you criticize your partner you need to think before you speak. Make sure the criticism is constructive and stated in a loving way.
You’ll have a more favorable outcome if you can look at the good things they bring to the relationship and why you chose to be with them in the first place. Changing the way you look at the situation can improve your relationship.
People who are involved in relationships and flirt with others are crying out for attention. They might not be taking the flirting to the next level and they may not have any intention of doing anything more. Nevertheless, it can still be hurtful to the other person. If your partner is flirting sit down and ask them what they need that you aren’t doing. The key is to communicate calmly so you don’t end up in a screaming match that can drive you further apart.
Sometimes the problem is lack of intimacy. Evaluate your relationship and ask yourself if you are providing the intimate feelings your partners is desiring. Some people are very good at expressing what they need while others are not. You may need to draw it out of your partner what is missing.
Some people get into relationships without knowing what they are getting into. They may not realize it’s give and take. In this case you might feel controlled. If your partner or you feel controlled you will soon feel suffocated and begin to push that person away so you can breathe. When you choose to be with someone you have to accept them for who they are with the exception of abuse, infidelity,and addiction. They had a life before you and you shouldn’t expect them to quit being who they are just because you are now added into their life.
Communication is the biggest part of being in a relationship. You need to be able to talk things out, express your honest feelings and opinions. Learn to communicate honestly with each other and your relationship is on the right track.