What is it like to have a relationship with attention deficit adults? I have been living with attention deficit children and adults all my life. There is never, ever a dull moment, that is, if you can peer through the dark clouds and spot the silver lining. Otherwise, life with attention deficit children and adults is living hell God bless their souls!
From the famous scientist and inventor Thomas Edison to the renowned Olympiad 2008 swimming star Philip Phelps, every attention deficit child and adult carry the same traits: impulsive, life wire, impatient, attention-seeking, inquisitive, and endowed with an elephant-like, tape-recorder like memory and boundless energy.
As divergent thinkers, you will find them somewhat disconnected with the rest of the world, yet always wanting to know, and forever annoying others with their millions of repeated “Why, why, tell me why?” on the same issues. A church mate once said that my attention deficit cousin was somewhat out of the world with his thoughts. Yet it was this same male cousin who would go all out just to chase the girl of his dream.
Attention deficit adults are often known as the Edison-gene type or the hunters as they single-mindedly pursue their dreams, trying this and other methods until they achieve some measure of success, despite criticisms from others. Just learn to be as thick-skinned, or pretend to be as lost, as your attention deficit mates and feign ignorance of what is on in their mind, with a shrug of your shoulders!
Attention deficit adults multi-task, and are human octopuses and workers on a hundred and one things at a time. Some may call them distracted but that is how their brains race, from one idea to another, and the rest of their bodies tend to agree. Hence, if you are pals with attention deficit adults who have not grown out of this gear-switching habit, learn to ride the waves with them and use the journey as training ground for being flexible and patient on your end!
Because their mind tends to race from one idea to another, it is possible for them to get lost or off tangent when you are conversing with them. Those who like to stay on a topic until all are satisfied that the topic has been thoroughly swept through would find it exasperating to be at a meeting with attention deficit adults. To the attention deficit adults, however, they would probably find every item on their personal agenda interconnected and would be confused by remarks that they are off-topic’.
It is with the same exasperation when you are with your beloved attention deficit adults to patiently hear them out and try to catch their seemingly diversion, then to hear them say, “What were we talking about just now?”
It is these same diversified thinkers that you will be thankful to have around when you are caught in a rut. They will be the ones who would probably figure out ingenious ways which work most of the time to get you out of the rut! Their somewhat dramatic and imaginative brains run wild in their own rights, and sometimes that can lead to dramatic yet romantic situations. Imagine a whole pathway lit with candles in jars inverted on two bricks each, to keep the wind out and the oxygen in! That will be the attention deficit adults’ solution when there is a blackout and the streetlights are non-functional!
Perhaps the greatest thing about being in a relationship with attention deficit adults is that once they are out of a rut with you, they will also choose to leave memories of the rut, including all the hang-ups, hang-over and ill-feelings. That is how big the heart of attention deficit adults is they are simply full of forgiveness for others, just as they expect to be forgiven! Their elephant memory bank will also not allow them to forget any good deeds done for them and they are likely going to be eternally indebted to you!
What is it like to have a relationship with attention deficit adults? It is a roller-coaster ride all the way! To find some solace or peace of mind, simply find that thing that greatly fascinates them, gently give them a nudge towards that area, and you will have hours of peace. It can be dinosaurs, as with my son, swimming as with Philip Phelps, scientific tinkering as with Thomas Edison or something as insignificant as trying to figure out why bats are forever hanging upside-down high up on the ceiling of some dilapidated temple in the Angkor Wat Temple grounds! But trust that scheme as it might also backfire and mean that you will have to find something else that will get them off their obsession and hooked on you again!
If love is really blind, having a relationship with attention deficit adults would be a real breeze. In reality, it will either be a love relationship, or a hate relationship and never a love-hate one because being the sensitive attention-seeker that attention deficit adults are, they will settle for nothing less than the best, and that includes the relationships that surround them. Attention deficit adults are never short of attention. They know when to cut ties and to spare themselves less pain in the future. Despite their seemingly haphazard ways, their brains always figure out a way to survive and they do survive any broken relationship, perhaps with tears and broken hearts that they will soon mend with their creative minds. The ones that ultimately lose out are the ones who lose his or her attention deficit partner because they did not give him (or her) the time or opportunity to display his (or her) single-minded love and devotion to them.
If you are in love with an attention deficit adult, consider yourself fortunate that you have found a partner that has single-mindedly and single-heartedly pursued you. Put on your love-is-blind spectacles when he is in one of his wired moods (not weird moods) because in a short while, the sun will start shining again, and he will have a product to stun you or even the world with!